Navigating Workplace Friendships
3 minute read
Should I develop friendships with my coworkers?
That's a fantastic question! Let's explore the dynamics of being friends with colleagues and find a balance that aligns with your role.
To start, I define "friends" as more than just being friendly at work. We're talking about hanging out outside of work, exchanging texts, and making plans to do activities together.
The decision to be friends with coworkers hinges on your respective roles in the company. Are you on the same level, or does someone hold a more elevated position? If you're a boss and considering befriending a subordinate, it could be a bit tricky. We want to avoid any awkward situations, right?
Now, picture this: you're new to a job, and you click with someone in your group. That's fantastic! Having a friend who's experiencing the same challenges can make you feel more connected.
On the flip side, if you're a manager thinking about being friends with someone junior to you, consider a few things:
Do you work together often?
Do you have a say in aspects of their job, like promotions?
Will being friends make it challenging to provide feedback?
If any of these are a yes, it might be a good idea to keep things professional until circumstances change.
Now, let's delve into a couple of real-life scenarios:
Imagine you're a manager, and you quickly develop a close friendship with a new colleague who happens to be under your supervision. Regrettably, complications arise as your friendship takes a downturn, and the fallout from your personal relationship spills over into work interactions. This results in numerous uncomfortable moments, particularly as you are still responsible for managing and coaching this individual. Currently, there isn't much recourse unless the person can find a way to transfer to a different team. Until that happens, everyone feels awkward.
Or, picture this: you're a new manager, and you hit it off with another manager from a different part of the company. You both hold the same title, and are planning to hang. This could be a great friendship to have as you get to know the team and company.
Now, let's say you're in a leadership position and you develop a great friendship with some of the more junior staff in your company. Review those 3 questions from earlier. Do you work with them often? Do you have input into their performance? Will you ever need to give them feedback? Depending on your answers, it might not be the best idea. As you move up the corporate ladder, your actions and friendships within the company carry more weight.
In my role as a human resources professional, I recommend taking time to assess the potential for friendships at work. Consider your personal brand - how you want others to perceive you and the reputation you aim to build at work. Once you have that in mind, take the time to understand the company and its dynamics. Armed with a good understanding, you'll be better equipped to make informed decisions about forming friendships at work.
As a Director of HR, I maintain clear boundaries at work - no inappropriate language, no gossip, no deep dives into personal life, and definitely no casual hangouts unless work-related. Alternatively, I regularly check in with my teammates online, offer support, and express gratitude on behalf of the company. Balancing friendliness with professionalism is an art. As you take on higher level positions, you become a representative of leadership, so it's crucial to make wise decisions that garner respect without creating complications for yourself down the line.
Any questions? Want to talk through your own situation? Send us a note!
